"L-O-V-E" what the hell does tht mean???

The word love for now really doesnt exists in my vocab right now
it's not tht ive completely ruled it out....just not feeling it right now

i thought i was ready and wanting a real serious relationship
but i've come to realize i just cant handle it right now
i have soooo much in front of me to just throw it away for "love"
i mean sure if it comes, im not going to push it away
but im sure as hell not going to go out looking for it right now
by no means!

i just love being me
no strings attached
not being tied down

its good for right now
dont need it
not sure if i want it

but when it comes around
ill be more than welcome
but until then "LOVE" leave me alone!

Watching Tough Love: Dear Daddy

Watching Tough Love on VH1 is a show about these women that have relationship problems.....as i watch this show....i think...i'll never be one of those girls
but it could very easily happen

the task they had to do tonight was writing a letter to their fathers...the objective of this task was that if they could confront the issues they had with their father then maybe that would hint at some of the issues they had with the men in their lives.

i see how this could help
and why they did this

i just wanted to take the time to do this.....make me feel better about myself.....
here goes nothing....

Dear Dad {i dont even feel comfortable calling you that},
You have abandon my mother and my brother and I to fend for ourselves...I have major trust issuses now because i have that feeling that every guy i'll ever meet will be another you...
i did meet a guy and thought he was the love of my life...
he turned out just to be like you...
an abusive, drug using, guy....not even worthy enough to be called a man....i saw you the night he put his hands on me....
when i looked in the mirror....i saw my mother....cuz i was going down the same path she was..
i'm afraid that every guy will lie and use me....cuz that's all i know...that's what you did to my mother and that's what my first "love" did to me....how am i to know any different......
i dont need you
we dont need you
you wont be there to walk me down to my husband
you wont hold your first grandchild
you wont be there for any part of my life
and oddly enough i'm ok with that

i dont need you and never will
i hate you and hope we never meet again....
you will not know who i am
i have changed and grown
but in a way i want to thank you
i use to be weak and fragile....but i am strong because of you
i know what not to look for
and that's everything you are
I cant stand you

thanks though love =) hahaha